The Catfish, the Snapping Turtle, and the Person on the Other End of the Phone
Updated: 3 days ago
Ever heard a story about a snapping turtle, a catfish wearing lipstick, and somebody on the other end of a phone? Sounds like the beginning of a bad joke, doesn't it? Believe it or not, there's a lesson in there that could save you or somebody you care about a whole lot of heartache. So pull up a chair, settle in, and let me tell you about the time a fishing story from Oklahoma collided with an online romance scam. You might be surprised how much they have in common.
Sometimes a catfish is just a catfish. And sometimes, what's on the other end of that line ain't what you think it is.
My mom told me a story the other day about a woman who lives near her.
She had been talking to someone online for about a year.
He told her he was a famous musician.
They talked on WhatsApp. He became someone she trusted. Eventually, the requests for money started.
Then came the other requests. More money. More help. More reasons.
By the time it was over, she had lost more than $10,000.
My mom didn't tell me this as a cybersecurity story.
She was just telling me about something that had happened to somebody she knew.
But I couldn't stop thinking about it.
Because there's a name for this kind of scam.
Catfishing.
And that sent my brain somewhere completely unrelated.
Oklahoma.
Years ago, I watched a guy go noodling for catfish.
If you've never seen it, noodling has nothing to do with pasta, unfortunately. You reach your bare—or gloved—hand into a hole in the riverbank and feel around for a catfish. I have done some crazy things in my lifetime, but to watch a person pull a 50lb fish out of a riverbank where they stuck their hand into and then what can only be described as a match that would rival anything the WWE did to get it in the boat is something everyone needs to witness at one point in their life.
Anyways, you're relying on touch.
You can't see what's in there.
You just reach in and hope you find what you're looking for or what is in your head isnt in there.
This particular guy reached way back into a hole wearing a heavy work glove.
And he found something.
It wasn't a catfish.
It was a snapping turtle. Im talking King Kupa of snapping turtles.
The turtle apparently had no interest whatsoever in participating in the fishing program and as the old timers would say, took a plug out of his hand.
That stuck with me.
Because there's a problem with reaching your hand into a hole when you already believe you know what's inside.
You don't.
And I think that's part of what makes romance scams so difficult to recognize.
The person on the other end of the conversation may sound exactly like the person you think they are.
They remember things you told them.
They ask how your day went.
They tell you about theirs.
They make you laugh.
They become part of your routine.
After enough time, you're not necessarily thinking about whether the person is real anymore.
You're thinking about the relationship.
And that's where the scammer wants you.
The scam isn't necessarily built around convincing you of one big lie.
It's built around giving you hundreds of little reasons to keep believing.
Then eventually there's a problem.
A medical emergency.
A business opportunity.
A frozen account.
A plane ticket.
A family emergency.
Something that needs money.
And because you've spent months—or sometimes years—building a relationship with this person, the request doesn't arrive from a stranger.
It arrives from someone you care about.
That's social engineering.
Not hacking.
Not breaking through some complicated security system.
Just getting someone to trust you enough to do something they otherwise wouldn't do.
And that's why I don't think the answer is telling people they're foolish for falling for these scams.
The woman my mom told me about wasn't stupid.
She wasn't careless.
She was trying to have a relationship with someone she believed cared about her.
Just like the guy noodling, the one on the other end simply wasn't who she thought he was.
That's a very different problem.
So if somebody you've met online starts asking for money, there's nothing wrong with stopping.
You don't have to prove they're a scammer.
You don't have to confront them.
You don't have to make a decision immediately.
You can take your hand out of the hole.
Take a breath.
Talk to somebody you trust.
Look at the situation from outside the relationship for a minute.
Because sometimes the safest thing you can do is admit:
“I don't actually know what's in there.”
And if there's a snapping turtle in the hole...
Well.
You probably don't want to find that out with your hand.
Comments